This weekend has been a big one as far as pushing myself out of my comfort zones. Friday’s Date Night, which I wrote about yesterday, had me eating out and attending an indoor event with total strangers in a venue I’d never been to.
Today had me speaking in front of the whole congregation (and on live stream) to share our family’s experience with participating in the Sound of Music production. I’m not entirely sure why it’s so hard to tell our music minister no when he asks me to do these kinds of things, but somehow he got me to agree a week ago. So of course, the closer the date came, the more anxiety I felt. Yesterday I ended up writing out what I planned to say because I didn’t want to go up and freeze. This morning I started having tummy issues, sweating, and feeling jittery the closer it got to time for church. I was told I would go up right after the sermon ended. I don’t remember any of the sermon. When it was finally time I tried to remind myself that I knew almost everyone in the room and they would be happy to hear anything I said. I locked eyes with a few people as I rambled on and saw nothing but smiles and encouragement. I did not really look at my notes, but I’m glad I’d taken the time to think about the points I wanted to make. It was really awkward at the end because they wanted me to say something about giving, but I couldn’t really remember what, so I stumbled through and then said “I’m not really sure how to end this, so… The End.” It got a chuckle and I got off stage. It was nerve wracking, for sure, but I did it and survived. Success!
After service my kids went to Sunday School and I sat in a hallway with a friend and just chatted. While we were talking, an older couple we’d never seen before started coming in the door. They asked where the sanctuary was, making it clear they were new. The woman, having taken note of the sign suggesting wearing masks, said they had forgotten theirs. My friend and I said we were sure there must be some available and we set out to find them. I found our lead pastor and asked. She pointed me to where they keep a box of disposable masks, then followed us back to the couple and I introduced them to her. It was, indeed, their first time in our church because they had just moved here from out of state. When we saw they were in good hands with the pastor, my friend and I excused ourselves to pick up our kids. I’m glad we happened to be sitting in that hallway (our usual spot was occupied) so we could help welcome these new people.
Immediately after I picked the kids up from Sunday School I had to get home to change clothes. Today was my first aerial yoga class! My daughter has been looking forward to it for over a week and there was absolutely no way of backing out, even though I thought about it. It was helpful that we already knew the instructor from my daughter’s time in her camp and she arrived at the same time as us. We had to borrow mats because we accidentally forgot to bring ours, but luckily she had plenty of extras in her car. There were three other women in the class that clearly have been doing this for awhile (two brought their own silks). It was not easy. And there were times I started to be embarrassed by how my body couldn’t do the things everyone else was able to do. But I tried to remind myself that I can’t expect to be good the very first time. Or probably the first few months even. I’m going to try to measure my progress instead of how far I am from where I want to be. Today I needed help to get into the pose in the picture below:
But I was able to do it once by myself. My wrist and forearms were incredibly sore by the end (not to mention my hips where the silks dug in), but I think it’s just a matter of continuing to strengthen those muscles. Yes, I work out, but today’s moves worked my muscles in ways they are not used to. I’m definitely stronger than I was when I started working out seven years ago. So I should expect improvement over time with this form of workout as well.
I’m not going to lie. It was hard. But I’m so glad I didn’t let anxiety stop me from doing it. Now to work on the rest of my list from Social Anxiety Challenge Day 7.
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