Self Care

Wednesday mornings have been for walking with two of my friends. But this morning started with a nasty thunder storm, so that got canceled. I was definitely disappointed, but I’d designated today as a “self care” day and gave myself permission to not fill that time with busyness. I did manage to do my 20 minutes of decluttering (two more kitchen drawers cleaned out!), but otherwise I’ve been scrolling through IG and taking it easy.

I did think about going to get a pedicure (I’ve had a gift card since 2019), but decided I’m still not quite comfortable with that level of exposure yet. Instead I put a shower bomb into the shower with me and took my time. Instead of getting dressed right away, I’m lounging in comfy clothes. Maybe I’ll even paint my own toenails.

However, I’ve also got something weighing on my mind. A few somethings, but one in particular has me trying to figure out what I can do about it.

Tonight is Youth Small Group at church. My kids only started going last week, but apparently they enjoyed it enough to want to go back. This morning my son asked what the topic will be. I looked it up and told him “Positive and Negative Mental Health Practices.” Sounds like a great one to me. His response: “What? Are we talking to a psychiatrist or something?”

I said, “I doubt it, but what’s wrong with that?” He shrugged his shoulders and said, “I dunno. Books just make it sound like it’s bad.”

This seriously disturbs me. How can we still be failing our kids this badly? Why do books targeted at kids give the impression that using the tools at our disposal to be our best selves is a bad thing? We go to a physician when we are sick, we go to an orthopedist when we break a bone, we go to a dentist when we have a toothache. Would anyone balk at this? Would anyone say “Aw, suck it up and let that bone heal itself, you don’t need a cast!” So why do people think that seeing a specialist when we are struggling mentally (or to keep us from getting to that point, just like preventative care) is any different?

As a librarian and someone that would like to call herself a writer, I’m ashamed that my son, an avid reader, has come away with the impression that seeing a mental health professional is bad. I have mentioned to my kids that I’m seeing a therapist, but maybe I need to talk about it more. And now I want to work on a book for kids that makes taking care of your mental health a good thing. But I don’t know how.

I’ve frequently begrudged the fact that many of the books my son reads have characters that don’t like school and therefore he thinks he shouldn’t like school and anyone that does is a freak (his sister). But going to school is an experience almost all kids have firsthand knowledge about and they can decide for themselves if the views expressed in a book match their own. But many kids have not been to a mental health professional and all they know is what they read. And when that image is seen as negative, they will fight against using this tool if/when they need it. Why paint that picture? Why?!

I think both of my kids would benefit from seeing a professional. I’m certainly not cut out for it. I’ve offered to both of them, but both have said no. I wonder if the image they’ve imagined from their books is what is causing them to refuse. They have a friend that does therapy. Maybe I should see if I can get her to tell them what it is like.

So this post took a turn, didn’t it? Still about self care, in a way, but not quite where it started. Anyway, I’ve only got 40 minutes until I have to pick up the kids, so if I’m going to paint my toenails I should get on that. I’ll continue to ruminate on the book idea. Let me know if you have suggestions!