Yesterday afternoon my daughter and I decided to take a walk outside in the thousand degree heat. It was seriously like walking out into an oven. But we’ve both been cooped up in the house all week thanks to covid and the idea of getting out of the house appealed. We did not last long. This morning it was considerably cooler, so we decided to get a walk in early. It was humid, but not an oven at least!
As we walked we talked about school starting soon and all the things we need to do before that happens. She says she needs new shoes, she’d like a hair cut, my son is needing a new backpack… These are all things I had intended to take care of this past week. Unfortunately, covid changed those plans. I started to say we could cram it all into the 4 days I have between getting out of quarantine and school starting, then I realized I was putting undue pressure on myself.
My husband, mother in law, and son didn’t get covid this time around and have been able to leave the house. My daughter is allowed to leave the house without a mask on Wednesday. I asked my husband if he could take her to get shoes, since he can do it sooner than me. He agreed to take her on Wednesday, and figured he could take my son for a backpack the same day. However, at that moment my mother in law came out of her room saying she was running errands and asking if we needed anything. We suggested seeing if my son wanted to go with her so that he could look for a backpack and anything else he might need before school starts. So now the two of them are out shopping and I can take that off my post-covid plate.
I’m not sure why I’ve always put every task related to the kids on myself. I guess maybe because I was a stay at home mom their first 5 years and got into the habit. And once the kids were in school, I worked in the same building and it just made sense for me to do everything. Plus, my husband worked 12 hour shifts 3 days a week, but the days were never consistent. It just became habit. It’s hard to break a 13 year habit. But I’m trying.
I’m proud of myself for asking others to help. It’s a bigger win than I think most people realize. It’s not that my husband is unwilling to help. But my social anxiety makes me feel like I’m inconveniencing him when I ask. And the kids have a habit of coming to me for everything because that’s what they are used to as well, so he often doesn’t know what they need. We will need to retrain all of us.
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