Girls’ Weekend

A year ago I completed Honest Rox‘s 7 Day Social Anxiety Challenge. On the last day, the task was to write a list of things I would do if I didn’t have Social Anxiety. It was very eye opening to actually think about what things I want to do, but don’t because of anxiety. On the list was join a class, go on a girls’ trip with a friend or two, travel solo, have friends over for dinner, and home renovation.

I’m proud to say that I joined a class soon after. I did the aerial yoga class with my daughter. Of course, there was the buffer of having my daughter with me, and I’ve had to stop for the time being because of my wrist, but I did it. I think I’d like to try another class, though. Maybe a writing class. I did the memoir workshop, too. I’ll have to look into any other classes that might interest me.

I sort of traveled solo in that I flew to California back in November, but I met up with my sister and aunt’s family for our cousin’s wedding reception, so I’m not sure if that completely counts. I really do need to look into a retreat or something. Maybe a writer’s retreat would work. Or just go off somewhere by myself to write?

We have had friends over for dinner. Granted, they were my husband’s friends and I didn’t invite them. But I was here and I didn’t die.

In the last year, we have had crews put on solar panels, replace our windows, and replace the gutters and siding on our house. So I’d say we’ve definitely done some home renovation. However, we still need the kitchen and bathroom redone. It will have to wait until we pay off the gutters, though.

And that brings us to the girls’ weekend. Soon after I made the list, I told my closest friend about this desire of mine. She was recently divorced and said she would love to go on a weekend trip with me. We discussed it for a year, but timing just wasn’t working out. In May we set a date for July when her kids would be with their dad. Unfortunately, she forgot to put it on her calendar and accidentally scheduled something for that weekend. She was extremely apologetic and felt terrible. I knew it wasn’t about me, she’s just stretched to her limit as a single mom. We rescheduled for a later date. And today’s the day!! It was difficult to figure out what we should do or where we should go, but our sole purpose was simply to get away, relax, and spend time together. Ultimately, we decided to get a hotel room not very far away from home where we could easily walk to food, shopping, and a spa. We check into the hotel this evening. There is an outdoor pool, which we may or may not utilize. Thankfully, the weather seems to be cooperating with us.

I haven’t packed yet, but she won’t be ready until 6:30 this evening, so I’ve got plenty of time. I’m a tiny bit anxious about what we will do, but trying not to overthink or over plan. She is my best friend and not only does she have anxiety herself, but she is a licensed counselor and completely understanding. I’ve never felt embarrassed telling her when something is giving me anxiety. I’ve missed talking to her every day at school pick up, so I’m focusing on all the time we will have to catch up rather than worrying about what we will do with our time.

I guess I also worry a bit that she’s overly stressed (her youngest is struggling with going to a new school) and that this weekend is just another stress to put on her plate. I know she would never see it that way, but I tend to put other people’s stress on myself. It probably goes back to those memories from when I was little and everyone had to change their schedules to accommodate my hospital stays or doctor appointments. I hate being the cause of stress in others. It goes back to that responsible/shame thinking I’ve been stuck in my whole life.

Enough of that line of thinking. I’m very much looking forward to a weekend away. And perhaps it can inspire me to set up something solo. There are a lot fewer schedules to manage that way!