It’s November! How is it that time can feel like it’s moving so fast and so slow at the same time?
I’ve decided to participate in NaNoWriMo this year, but with less emphasis on word count and more on spending time with my characters each day. Later today I have an appointment to write “with” a friend, then I’ve got a Silent Writing session with Lauren Sapala. I’m really hoping I can separate my “Deliverer” self from my “Empathizer” self. What do I mean? I’m glad you asked…
I recently took the Strengths test and my top 5 were Philomath, Thinker, Coach, Empathizer, and Deliverer.
As a Deliverer, I find I thrive on badges and achievements being recognized by others. When I did NaNo in 2020 I would write late into the night to make sure I got my daily goal so that I could earn the badge. After I finished my 50K, but the month was still going, I had one day that I didn’t get the 1,667 words. I didn’t think it would be a big deal, since I’d already “won.” However, I did not get the badge that showed that the daily goal was met all 30 days and that disappointed me. Which is totally stupid, given the fact that I went well over the goal most days. I guess I tend to feel that if an achievement is attainable, I must achieve it.
But for this NaNo, I want to use my Empathizer strength. I want to listen to my characters and not force a word count. I just want to write without the pressure of a number. Yes, I want to show up all 30 days, but if I don’t write 1,667 words all of those days, that’s okay. My characters might not have 1,667 words of energy to share. I just need to make sure to not get caught up in the numbers, even though that’s how it’s tracked on the NaNo site.
The other strengths totally make sense for me. I had never heard the term “Philomath” before, but the definition the site gave was “Philomaths love learning. They explore many interests, follow new paths and acquire as much knowledge as possible. They don’t enjoy the company of so-called ‘know-it-alls’, people with little curiosity and no desire to explore new ideas.” I really do love to learn. That’s part of why I became a librarian. Because there are so many ways to learn and I love to explore them all.
As for “Thinker” which essentially means I think everything out before I take action. Some might call me an overThinker. I remember reading once that the difference between Introverts and Extroverts is that Introverts “think to speak” while Extroverts “speak to think.” And I do tend to think things through before saying or doing anything. But I’ve also learned that sometimes thinking gets in the way of me actually doing anything. If I think too long, it won’t happen. Which may be why I can’t outline. It’s too much thinking and I get so wrapped up in it I never start writing.
As an “Coach” I see the potential in others and want to help them achieve that potential. This is something that drives my son crazy. He would much rather take the easy way out. This is definitely why I became a teacher and school librarian. I love to help kids (and teachers too) find their passion and reach for it. When it comes to writing, I think I can see the potential in my characters and strive to help them get there. I may not know how, but I am willing to walk with them along the way.
“Empathizers are great at understanding how people feel and use this sensibility to do good for others. They become frustrated when asked to disregard feelings and focus solely on logic instead.” This strength is the one that I think conflicts with my “Deliverer” strength the most. Because I want to write character driven stories, paying attention to how my characters feel along the way. But fitting that into a word count box feels contradictory. I need to make sure I continually remind myself that “delivering” in this month will simply mean showing up and listening. Even if that means nothing gets added to the story that day.
I’ve been debating on if I should upgrade to learn my other strengths, but I’m not sure how much more I’d get out of it. It’s interesting to see that the top 5 really do describe me well. I’m curious about the others, but I don’t tend to spend money on myself unless I see it as necessary. Though I did just get money for my birthday… Perhaps it can be a present to myself? I’ve already paid for the Silent Writing for November, so I did that at least. Why is it so hard to do things for me? My husband doesn’t seem to have a problem with it. He’s taking Improv classes and buys models that he says he’s going to paint, but rarely has time for. He squirrels away money specifically for his hobbies. Me? I will do things that are free, but hesitate if they cost money.
I wonder why? Is it because of the numerous fights about money between my parents when I was growing up? My dad would spend money and my mom would get mad at him for it. Which is kind of weird, because we never hurt for money that I know of. But she probably got it from her dad, who was very frugal. Also, I know she had heard something about needing $10K if I had to have a transplant, so she always strove to have at least that amount in savings for “just in case.” I think I carried that mindset over.
Mom didn’t have a problem spending money on us. She just never spent it on herself and didn’t like it when Dad would spend it on her or on himself. I guess the example she set was that spoiling others was okay. Spoiling yourself is not. How do I break myself of that? I can almost always talk myself out of buying things for me. I’ve done a little better the last year, paying for classes with Lauren that I would have talked myself out of in the past. My aunt pointed out that when I purchase something from an individual like Lauren, I’m helping support them so that they can continue to provide content. So it’s become easier to rationalize that in my mind.
Here I go with my “Thinking” strength again… I don’t know how to turn it off!
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