Penultimate week. Almost to the finish line. But am I anywhere close to finished? Sure, I’m a lot closer than I was at the start of this program, but I still have a ways to go. Part of me feels frustrated by this fact. The other part recognizes that the goal was bigger than I realized.
I was under the impression that I could finish my first draft with another 40,000 words added to the 40,000 I already had. Well, here I am sitting at 98,706 words and I am not at the end of this draft. Is that a failure? I don’t think so. I’ve written more than 50,000 words in the last 11 weeks. That’s huge! Not only that, but I’ve gotten to see the characters grow and learn and struggle and come to life. I certainly don’t want to shortchange them by setting an arbitrary word count to their story.
The great thing is, I know that I can keep going. I was scared that the end of B90 would mean that I would struggle to continue. Signing up for Sage’s Empowered Project has eased that fear to some degree and so has the reflection for this week. We got to create a Cosmic Smash Book page that illustrated our BIG Dream.
I had so much fun creating this page. It feels GOOD to dream big. To imagine putting my characters out into the world for others to get to know. To climb the mountain of revisions, ascend the stairs of success, and shatter the idea that I can’t. I’m ready to be brave and pursue this passion of mine. I want to connect to an audience that needs to feel seen.
It definitely helps to know that I will continue to work with Sage and soon will join a new group of women with a similar big dream. Community is important. We all need connection with others. Which is kind of what I’m hoping to convey in this story. While I may not be finished with the first draft by next week, I am still celebrating how much B90 and Sage have helped me to dream big and face that fear head-on.
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