Pinch me

As I had stated in my last post, I’ve been struggling to get to the end of this first draft. Struggling hard. I’d put so much pressure on myself to make it epic and “perfect” that everything that came out felt wrong.

I didn’t write one word over the weekend. For one thing, we were busy. But I also was avoiding it. I’d set a goal to have the first draft done by the next Coaching session with Sage and I felt like the end was never going to happen.

But this morning I told myself I would do nothing but write. No scrolling, no Christmas shopping, no procrastinating. I took a short break to eat lunch and got right back to it. And at 3:40, I finished. I wrote a sentence that just FELT like the end. I’m sure there is a lot I’ve missed, or need to change, or delete, or rearrange. But this Shirtty First Draft is DONE.

I am not sure how I thought I would feel, but this ball in my stomach is not it. I feel numb, and scared, and totally freaked out. 135,154 words have poured out of me and into this story. But what if every one of them is total garbage?

I will be putting the writing aside for a few days. I’ve got a few other things going on to keep me busy. But on Friday, the plan is to start reading what I wrote from the very beginning and taking notes. Hopefully there’s more positive than “shirt.”