Unraveling

My brain feels as if it is slipping away from me. I am forgetful, scattered, and overwhelmed. I can only imagine it is a biproduct of the anxiety about the book launch. Or perimenopause. Or both. Since returning from Ireland I’ve felt more and more lost in my own head. It’s like while I was gone I totally forgot how to do life.

I got a message yesterday reminding me of the orthodontist appointments I had made for my kids. We had scheduled them before school started, so we weren’t sure of their schedule at the time. They were set for before school, but it meant they would miss morning marching practice. I tried calling to see if there was another time available that would work better for their schedules (they have a free period every other day), but when there wasn’t I decided they would just have to miss. I emailed their teachers to let them know and got a response from one of them right away. Later, I got an email from the band director asking if they would be at the pep rally. I frantically called the office to reschedule for a different day because I didn’t want them to miss that. The office didn’t answer, and I was redirected to an answering service who isn’t able to reschedule certain appointments, so I simply canceled them to reschedule later. I had texted the kids as much and when school let out they told me there wasn’t a pep rally this week, it’s next week. I tried calling to get the original appointments back, but was again redirected to the answering service and unable to get the appointments. I tried again later and got ahold of someone at the office and asked if we could get the original appointment times back. She said they were already filled, but she could schedule them for Monday. I said that would be fine. I was scattered and on edge from all the phone calls and emailing the teachers repeatedly as the plan changed, but at least the appointments were made. Only, when I got the notice to check in for the appointments it said they were for the dentist, not the orthodontist.

I intended to call and get it worked out after my water exercise class, but as I was getting dressed, I got a text from Squirrel. They had jammed their finger in morning rehearsal, and it was swollen and painful. It happened to be that free period I referenced, so we met at urgent care to get it looked at. The finger is not broken, but badly sprained. They put a splint on and taped it to the next finger. Participation in tonight’s halftime show is yet to be determined. It all depends on how difficult it is to spin with the splint.

As I drove to the office following that visit, I received a phone call from the dentist’s office asking me to confirm the appointments. I asked if it was for the dentist or orthodontist and they confirmed it was for the dentist. I explained that I had been trying to schedule orthodontist appointments, not dentist. They had to cancel the appointments and get back to me about scheduling the orthodontist.

All of this could have been avoided if I hadn’t gotten the (incorrect) message that there was a pep rally today. My kids would have been at their appointments, which means that the finger would not have been injured and I wouldn’t be making nine million phone calls or sending so many unnecessary emails to teachers. I fully blame the band director. Except, that really doesn’t change anything, so there’s no point.

Oh! And did I mention that last night my husband sent me a picture of his car, which had the front passenger bumper smashed in? Yeah, just a picture with no explanation. When I asked what happened he called me immediately to explain that he’d been in an accident and was okay, as was the car (other than a smashed headlight and bumper), and he would take care of the insurance claim. When I thanked him for telling me he said he had debated on letting me discover it on my own. I told him that would not have been acceptable. At all.

So not only am I stressing about the launch (eight days away), but the rest of the world seems to be determined to make me crazy as well. Thus, I feel as if I’m unraveling. I just hope I can knit myself back together soon!