Influence

We all have periods of time where we wonder “What’s the point?” Maybe it’s “What’s the point of my job?” or “What’s the point of working out?” or “What’s the point of getting out of the house?” or “What’s the point in writing this blog?” No matter what area of question you have, I’d like you to consider the fact that your point won’t always be obvious to you.

You see, everything we do (or don’t do), has a ripple effect.

What’s the point of going to work?

Don’t go to work today? Depending on the job, it might mean a heavier burden on your coworkers. Go to work? You might be the smile someone needs. The point might not be the job itself. It might be how you impact those you encounter.

What’s the point of working out?

Well, that not only impacts your own health, but also can be the motivation for someone else to join you or start their own program. If you go to a gym, someone you never even meet could see you and find inspiration. You’ll never know it. But you will have been an influence.

What’s the point of getting out of the house?

Whether it’s going to the grocery store, a park, or over to a friend’s house, you are bound to cross paths with someone. Without even knowing it you could make someone’s day with a simple nod and wave as you pass, which may motivate them to reach out to a loved one or help a stranger. Every small thing you do has influence.

Sadly, not every action or inaction has a positive influence. You could also be the trigger for someone’s bad day. Or give someone their own “What’s the point?” feeling. But I’d venture to say we have much more of a positive effect than negative. Especially when we make a conscious effort to send positive energy into the world.

So on to the last “What’s the point?” on my list…

What’s the point of writing this blog?

What is the point? Of course, there are the reasons that effect me. I’m able to work my way through my thoughts and feelings. It serves as a journal for me as I build my toolkit for recovery from Social and General Anxiety.

But there’s no reason I couldn’t use a more private format. Either a hand written journal or private document on my computer. What’s the point of making my thoughts public for anyone with internet access to see? It’s not like I have a huge following or have any desire to “go viral.” I’m not expecting to be or do anything a hundred other, more qualified, people can do.

Yesterday I realized something, though. My two favorite people that I’ve come in contact with on this Anxiety road did an IG Live together yesterday. One of these women has been taking a break from social media. And I’ve missed her terribly. It may sound strange, being that we have only interacted via comments and a few DMs, but for some reason I’ve felt particularly connected to her. In the Live she expressed that she isn’t sure what path she will be following and that she felt a significant amount of Imposter Syndrome when it comes to helping others with Social Anxiety. Both women expressed a feeling of uncertainty in how to try to help others.

I needed them both to know that they are already helping others, even when they don’t know it. After work I sat down and wrote a long DM to the both of them explaining how much they’ve influenced my recovery. I felt a little like a fan girl and wondered if they would think it strange, but also knew that they needed to know. Their responses proved to me I’d done the right thing in writing to them. My words of encouragement did for them what they had done for me countless times. My words made a difference.

Which I then connected to the words I write here on my blog. There are posts that are read by no one (as far as I can tell), and that’s okay. They helped me work through whatever was going on at the time. But there are some posts that have been read and liked by several people. I don’t know them and have no idea why they stumbled upon my blog. I don’t know if they are looking to feel less alone or looking for motivation to make a change. Or maybe they just feel sympathy. Whatever their reason for reading my words, I hope that I’ve had a positive influence on them.

So even if I never get a single “view” or “like” I will continue to write. Maybe I’ll help someone, maybe I won’t. I may never know. But that doesn’t mean my words don’t have influence. My goal is not to be a life changer. My goal in making this blog public is simply to help people feel less alone. At one point I thought I’d try to turn this blog into something more. I wanted to be like the accounts I had found that were making an impact on me. But now I have decided that I don’t need to be like anyone but me. I’ll write when I feel inspired to and not feel bad when I go a longer time between posts. However, knowing how much I’ve missed seeing posts from certain people, I will make an effort to check in a little more often. I’ve noticed that I write less when I’m feeling good. But people need to see those moments too.

If you’ve read this far, I’d love for you to share with me who has had influence on you this week. Either the guy at the park that you saw picking up trash, or the coworker that thanked you for your input, or a meme that made you laugh. There is a ripple going out from each one of us and we will never know how far we have reached.