It’s been quite awhile since I last did a Therapeutic Thursday post. Not because I haven’t gone to therapy, but because I’ve been going in person, which makes it difficult to immediately work on a post. And after I’m home the moment/processing is done. It’s a 20 minute drive. I decided to give it a go (7 hours later) anyway.
We had planned to get into EMDR over the summer because in person seemed easier than virtual. We had done all of the preparation work to get started, then I had to have wrist surgery. One problem with that. The technique she had planned to use was bilateral tapping. But right now I can only “unilaterally” tap because of my wrist being in the monstrous splint. So we didn’t bother today. We will reassess next week and possibly go with a different technique if necessary.
Instead I talked. No tissues were needed, amazingly. Because for the most part, I’m feeling pretty positive. I know several of my posts from the past week have been focused on what I can’t do, but I’ve recently taken on a project that has lifted my mood.
I have mentioned many times on this blog about The Social Anxiety Besties Club which is led by Sadie Hall. I have followed her podcast (I was a guest in June!) and Instagram for almost a year now and back in December I joined the Besties Club (gives access to a private group for peer support). I’ve really enjoyed being a part of the Besties, attending Zooms and getting to know others that know what I’m talking about when I bring up things that scare me. Everyone is super supportive and at different places on their Social Anxiety journey.
After my interview went live on the podcast, I thought I would want to crawl back into my shell. But I didn’t. I wanted to do more. And I wanted to help Sadie in some way, but I didn’t want to seem pushy or presumptuous. So I didn’t say anything. But then she sent a message to the Besties saying she was needing to increase the monthly price because the group was taking up more of her time. Which is GOOD, but not at the expense of her freelance job that actually makes money.
Reading this compelled me to offer my assistance. Not to change anything she planned, but to ease her stress. She loved the idea. At first she talked about it being a paid position, but that she wasn’t at a point where she could pay anyone, so looked at it as a future possibility. I told her I wasn’t offering because I needed a job, I just wanted to help. So for now I am a volunteer. I’ve started manning the private FB group so she doesn’t feel like she has to respond to everyone every time. I also offered some suggestions to get more interaction on the FB group throughout the week. I started those on Sunday. And I’ve been loving it. I’m enjoying interacting with the Besties that feel comfortable posting and drawing people out.
This has also pushed me to post my own responses to the prompts I’ve been giving. And in responding to everyone, it gets me looking at things in a different way.
Today I told my therapist all about the Besties Club and how it’s given me a renewed sense of purpose. I told her that I know I’m helping my aunt, but it hasn’t been totally fulfilling. But now that I’m helping Sadie and my fellow Besties, it feels really good.
I also told her about the ways that my daughter has been showing up scared and how it feels good that I may have been able to help her do that. And I told her that I want to get us into family therapy so that we can learn to communicate better and hopefully convince my son that therapy isn’t this horrible scary thing he seems to think it is. Only, I still haven’t made the call because I’m afraid of picking the wrong one.
Overall, I feel more positive, but know I still have work to do. I definitely want to try EMDR so I can hopefully disconnect from the feeling of being defective.
Leave a Reply