Last week my kids were at church camp, so my husband and I had the opportunity to finally celebrate a belated 20th (and 21st) anniversary. I had told my husband that I wanted him to make plans for us to go somewhere because it was giving me anxiety to try and figure it out. Of course, this simply converted to anxiety that it would never happen, as he kept putting it off. Partially because we wanted to make 100% sure the kids would actually be going to camp (last year was canceled two days before because of Covid).
When he felt like it was possible to make plans, he asked me if there were any of my Social Anxiety Besties I’d like to meet. I said “Well, Sadie. But she’s in Canada.” He said “I was actually thinking about Canada. Where exactly?” And from there, our trip took shape!
I asked Sadie what she would be doing that week and she was not only going to be available, but was interested in meeting up (always an iffy subject to a Socially Anxious person)! For the two weeks leading up to our trip, Sadie and I messaged each other constantly. We even recorded a “pre-visit anxiety” interview for her podcast. We kept it a secret from the other Besties, choosing to have a big reveal with a photo of the two of us together.
Her husband suggested flying in through Buffalo instead of Toronto (about equal distance from where they live), so that’s what we chose to do. Flying was its own set of anxiety and after dropping the kids off for camp (yep, more anxiety there!), I started documenting my anxieties on my IG stories. I collected them in a highlights titled “Travel Anxiety” if you’re interested in seeing them. I noticed that I posted a TON the first and second day, but not much after that because I was trying to focus on my husband and the things we were doing. I just needed to get document the initial anxieties out to get through the warm up.
When we got to Buffalo, our luggage did not arrive with us. Thankfully, we’d gotten in so late that we had gotten a hotel room for the night and we were able to get our bags the next day around noon, then head on over the border and into Canada.
We got to our cabin and took showers and put on fresh clothes before heading to Sadie’s house. I was both a bundle of nerves and so excited to be meeting her in person. We can talk forever on zoom, and message often, but meeting face to face is scary!
The great thing is, we have so much more than SA in common, and so do our husbands! While I know we both felt awkward at times, we also had great conversations and enjoyed each other’s company. We arrived at their house around 6 PM and didn’t leave until well after midnight! Leaving was hard because we weren’t sure if we’d see each other again and we wanted to make the most of this once in a lifetime opportunity.
The next day we drove into Toronto and saw a musical. & Juliet was a spur of the moment decision and we both had so much fun with it. I’m sure it helps that we are both familiar with Shakespeare AND most of the music in the show. While I don’t expect it to win major awards, it was a fun time for sure! And even better, a large portion of the audience (and most importantly, the people directly around us) was wearing masks. It made me much more comfortable while watching the show.
After the show was not as great. We didn’t have any specific plans and only a vague sense of what we might want to do while in Toronto. So we walked to Kinsington Market (which was nothing like what we imagined), got irritated with each other, and ended up driving back towards Burlington, where we were staying. We stopped at a Walmart to pick up some shorts for my husband (he had only packed pants, thinking it would be so much cooler than here in Texas). He wanted to pick up food and take it back to the cabin, but I wasn’t as keen on that idea. Neither of us wanted to make a decision, though, which made us pretty cranky with one another. Finally, Sadie suggested that we try finding a place down on the waterfront and we’re glad we did. The Burlington waterfront was so serene. We ate on a patio facing the water, then strolled along the edge of the water. It was a great way to end the day.
The next day we had decided to go to Niagara Falls. We were told that the Canada side has a much better view than the US side, so we didn’t want to miss the opportunity. We got a slightly later start than we’d planned, which caused a little anxiety in me, but it really wasn’t too big a deal. We drove around looking for reasonable parking, then walked to the Table Rock Center to get tickets to Journey Behind the Falls. The line for tickets was outrageously long, so we thought we’d save time by ordering online. Turns out, you still have to wait in the same line to get your vouchers, so it didn’t save any time after all.
After the tremendously long wait, we finally had our passes. We got a combo ticket that let us do Journey Behind the Falls, Niagara’s Fury (a short 360* video of how the falls were formed over time), and White Water Walk (a walk along the rapids of Niagara River). The views were breathtaking and I would say the only “bad” part of our day was when choosing lunch. We waited too long to make a decision and I wa irritable and so we ended up choosing a place that was close, but the food was not that good and much too expensive. If we had it to do again (and we hope to take the kids someday) we would definitely choose a different place to eat!
That evening, we went to Sadie’s house again for dinner. Her husband was in Toronto for work, so we didn’t get to see him, but we got to play with her kids and spent from about 7 PM until well after midnight again. We really enjoyed our time together and she kept telling us we should move there. We were very tempted, to be honest! I don’t know when we will get to see them again, but I really hope we do! And next time we will bring our kids, because I am certain all four kids would get along great, even with the age differences.
Our last day came and after packing up and leaving the Air BnB we went back to Niagara to try to find a place to eat poutine before leaving Canada. We found a stationary food truck that was supposed to have great poutine (according to Yelp), but they were not open at the time it said they would be open. So we found another place and shared a small order. We’re pretty sure we didn’t get the best poutine to be found in Canada. We will have to try again another time.
We then crossed the border and had lunch at Anchor Bar in the US Niagara. We had been told by the person sitting next to me on the plane in that they were the ones to invent Buffalo Wings. So we gave them a try. It wasn’t bad, but not much different from what we can get here. We still had quite a bit of time before our flight, so we decided to explore the US side of the Falls. We are so glad we did. We’re glad we saw the Canada side first, for the perspective it gave us when viewing from the US. While I watched the rushing water, I was inspired and took lots of footage so I could make the video below:
While I missed my kids terribly the whole trip, and devoured any pictures that were sent from the camp and prayed they were having a great time, I was glad to have this time with my husband and friend. However, as the time approached to go to the airport, I was so very ready to see my babies. The mom that picked them up from camp (we knew we wouldn’t be back in time) sent a photo of them and I totally lost it, crying in the airport. My husband looked at me like I was crazy.
Our plane was delayed and we didn’t actually get home until after our kids’ normal bedtime. We told my mother in law they could stay up late, with the knowledge that they would not be able to tell us all the stories and would need to go to bed shortly after we arrived. My daughter was scheduled for a day at the zoo for her Zoo Crew training program and would need to be up early. It was so good to wrap my arms around them again after a week apart.
The next morning, my daughter said her throat hurt. Three campers had been sent home with Covid and while she had not been in close contact with any of them, she had been close with the cabin mate of one of them. So we had her test and it came back positive. No Zoo Crew after all. And no more hugs for awhile. And no playing guitar at church on Sunday. And no bookbinding class. And no trip to see family in Houston. Thankfully, those are just inconveniences. She’s really only had a sore throat and congestion. I’m so thankful that she’s vaccinated and boosted so that we don’t have to worry about more. I’d love to cuddle with her, but she’s grateful that it’s happened now and not when school has started. The rest is reschedulable.
My anxiety was high, particularly with regard to our potential exposure to Covid. I feel like it was inevitable for at least one of us to come down with it with all of us being away from home and around large groups of people. But I’m in a much better head space than I was this time last year and I can see that the experiences we had were worth the risk. We all made memories that will last a lifetime. I’m still hoping I don’t get it, but I’m not regretting our decisions. That’s huge compared to where I was a year ago.
Someday I hope to take my kids to see Niagara and visit Sadie and her family. I know that anxiety will always pack its bags and come with me, but I hope it will never prevent me from traveling at all.
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