Habit

I need to write, but I don’t know what to write. I’m feeling stuck in a loop. Writing grounds me, but when I’m overwhelmed I have trouble sitting down to write. Writing helps me focus my thoughts, but when I have a million thoughts in my head I avoid writing until I know which thought to write about. Why is it that something that is so therapeutic for me is so hard to sit down to do when I need it most?

I want to try fiction (or memoir) writing again. I think I can get through it now that I’ve been learning how INFJs need to work. But I’m having trouble getting started because I feel like I need to have an idea first. But so many writers say to just write every day. Make it a habit, even when you have nothing to say. I was reminded of that when listening to a podcast on my walk this morning. I’ve been successful at starting the habit of walking every morning after the kids get on the bus (even when it’s raining!). Now I need to find a way to start the habit of writing every day without worrying about what I will write every day.

Months ago I signed up for the newsletter of an author that hosts “Story A Day” (along with dozens of other writerly newsletters). But I never open them and just tuck it away in a folder to “look at later.” There are over 450 unread emails in that folder. So just now (after writing the above paragraphs), I made a decision. I looked at the newest “Story A Day” newsletter and saw that she has a “Story A Week” subscription, which will send prompts to my inbox every week. I’m hoping it will get my brain working and help me form a habit. After all, when given the prompts for the Flash Fiction Challenge, I was able to make something out of it. I didn’t just stare at the blank screen and think of nothing. So no matter what, I’ll be writing. It doesn’t have to become the next great idea, but at least it will get me writing.

Next task will be finding a consistent time. I feel like I work best when the rest of the house is quiet, so maybe when the kids are at school or activities. But I need to work it around my weekly commitments. That will be the hard part. Let’s see (I’m just “thinking out loud” right now):

Monday – Walk 7:30-8:15, Work away from home 9:30-2:00 most weeks, dinner prep before kids get home at 4, daughter to aerial 5-6. (write in car while daughter in aerial)
Tuesday – Walk 7:30-8:15, grocery store 9-10, dinner prep 10-11, volunteer 1:00-4:00, kids to ninja 6-7. (write 11-12 or while kids are at ninja)
Wednesday – Walk 7:30-8:15, church library 10-11, therapy 12-1, cook while kids at church 5:30-6:30 (write after therapy)
Thursday – Walk with friends 8-10, lunch with friend or husband (write after lunch)
Friday – Walk 7:30-8:15, “me day” or appointments (write after walk)
Saturday – no set weekly agenda, but daughter will soon be volunteering at the zoo and I will have to take her (if zoo day, write at the zoo. if not, write first thing in the morning)
Sunday – church 8:20-11:00, lunch with daughter or son 12-1 (write after lunch)

Obviously it will take some effort to make this work, since it’s not the same time every day. But I think making it a part of my “schedule” will help make it happen. It’s not something I have to do for hours until I’m finished (like with the FF challenge), just make an effort to show up at my computer for 30 minutes or more. If inspiration strikes, great. If not, at least I showed up. The only way to become a writer is to write. I wish it could be at the same time every day (like the walking), but it doesn’t look like that will work unless I do it after the kids go to bed, but that means I get no 1 on 1 time with my husband. So I will try this for a few weeks (it takes 21 days to form a habit!) and see what happens. I just need to add it to my calendar and then I have to do it.

Stay tuned. Not sure if I’ll post the fiction writing on the blog, but some days blogging might be my writing. Regardless, I’ll try to let you know how it’s going. Starting next week, perhaps I’ll have a “Writer Wednesday” post.