Another week has gone by and I’m proud to say I’ve been writing quite a bit. I’ve written memories for a possible memoir (or just for healing) and I’ve written a bit for the fiction piece I came up with. I am trying to just let whatever comes to me pour out onto the page instead of worrying about structure or audience.
The memories I’ve been writing haven’t been in any kind of order, just as I think of them. By looking at them as individual memories instead of trying to figure out how to fit them into a larger picture it’s freed me in a lot of ways. I have always written chronologically and kept getting stuck. But taking bits and pieces out of order has gotten a whole lot more written. One memory will often lead to another, even if they are years apart. I’m trying to not think about how they will all fit together and reminding myself that that’s a later problem.
As for the fiction, I have only written one scene so far. But I feel like it set the stage for the rest of the idea. I still haven’t figured out the actual story yet, just the premise, but I’m beginning to realize that if I wait until I know everything about the story, I’ll never get started. When I wrote my NaNo piece in 2020 I didn’t really know where it was going either. But sitting down and writing every day anyway got it done. True, it still needs a lot of work, but less than if it was never written. One of these days I’ll figure out how to revise without feeling like a failure. But for now I’m going to focus on writing the next story. I’m in a different mindset and life place now and a different story needs to come out of me.
It’s interesting how where I am in life influences what I write. Not surprising at all, but intriguing. When I was fresh out of my library job it made sense that I was writing a middle grade fantasy, as those were the kind of stories I was around every day. Now that I’ve been mostly removed from those and focusing on healing my own trauma I’m more interested in writing about mental health journeys.
I think it’s important to tell stories of mental healing to help others feel less alone. I just said to my aunt in response to Houston ISD removing libraries from many schools to make discipline centers that politicians don’t realize that relationships with the librarian, other readers, and the books/characters they encounter do much more for a student than discipline. Because relationships matter. And the relationship between readers and the characters they meet should not be discounted. Readers need to see themselves within the pages of a story. And when someone feels unrepresented it makes them feel as if they are alone or unimportant. I want to help people that are struggling with anxiety to feel seen and not alone.
I’m writing to heal myself, but I also hope that my writing can do a little to help heal others. Of course, that’s a long way off. First I have to write!
Leave a Reply