It’s the half-way point for Book in 90 and while I’ve come so far in the last 6 weeks, I feel like I’ve still got a long way to go. I’ve met my word count goals each week, so it’s not words that feel daunting. It’s the story. I feel like there is so much more story left. The characters have 12 weeks for their quest and I’ve gotten through session 6, but I was already at session 5 when I started Book in 90. So that means it took me 6 weeks to get through one and a half weeks of my story. That does not bode well for the weeks to come.
I think I need to revise my goals. Instead of tracking word count, perhaps I should track weeks of the story. With 6 weeks left both in the story and in Book in 90, if I can complete a week per week, I’ll get to the end. And since each “week” seems to contain around 10,000 words, it’s going to take a lot more than 3,000 a week to get to the end.
I’ve been exceeding the 3,000 a week, but certainly haven’t made it close to 10,000, so it will require a big leap. It will require 2,500 per session if I do 4 sessions per week. And next week I’ll be out of town with my family, which will make writing much more difficult to accomplish.
In the zoom session today with Sage she talked about giving myself grace and allowing myself to set an attainable goal for the week, knowing it won’t look like other weeks. But now that I’ve done the math, I’m worried that getting even less writing done will make me even more behind.
I need to stop overanalyzing. I may or may not finish the entire first draft by the end of B90. Yes, that’s the goal, but it’s still an amazing accomplishment that I’m making progress and there’s no reason I should be disappointed about that. I’ve written a lot and the story has gone places I never anticipated. I know I’ll need to clean it up, but I’m not letting myself think about that, since I’m not in that step yet.
This week Sage’s advice was regarding nourishing ourselves. She had us journal on the following topics:
- Does your body tense up when you write?
I think it might at the beginning of a session, but once I get into a flow my body really takes on the feelings of my main character. When it’s a tense moment for her, my body gets tense. When she’s enjoying herself, I smile along with her. When she’s nervous, I’m nervous. - Do you feel a sense of freedom when you write?
For the most part, yes. I feel like I’m transported to somewhere else. Like my reality is far away and I get to pour myself into my writing. I get the same feeling as when I read. Writing and reading both serve as an escape from my reality as well as an opportunity to reflect on how I am like (or not) the characters and how I might react if I were them. - Are you avoiding writing?
Yes. Or at least, sometimes. Which doesn’t make sense because when I am writing it just flows out of me. But getting started each day is hard and I procrastinate because I feel like I need to know what will be happening. Never mind that I know that’s not true. I guess it’s kind of like exercising. I dread it and can come up with lots of excuses to avoid it, but if I push myself to actually show up I feel so much better and I’m grateful that I did it.
The portion of the story that I wrote today actually took place at church. Up until this point, I hadn’t even mentioned religion. I’m not sure why the story went that way, but I’m trusting that the characters are leading the way and it will all make sense at some point. The words of the sermon were very apt for Alanna (the main character), but they also spoke to me. So maybe it was God simply making sure I know He’s got His hand in the story too.
Leave a Reply