I know I’m not the only person that has a hard time saying “no” when people ask for help. It’s fine when you’re only asked occasionally, or the responsibilities are spread out. But when they all pile together at once, it’s an overload.
Just some of the responsibilities I’ve taken on recently:
- Lay Leadership (a church committee I’ve been on for years and doesn’t take much time.)
- Administrative Council (a church committee I agreed to join in November)
- Women’s Event planning committee (church event scheduled for April)
- Great Adventure Weekend adult advisor (youth led retreat weekend which happens this weekend)
- Youth Choir Tour drama director (developing the drama portions of the performances we will take to various audiences)
- Chaperone for Winter Guard competitions (did one already, signed up for two more in March)
- Concessions for two performances of Pride & Prejudice (happened last weekend)
- Driving my kids to a billion different places, all at the same time. As well as making sure they get their required driving times in to get their licenses in June.
- Adult Ministry committee (agreed over a year ago and it fell by the wayside when the staff member in charge was cut from the budget)
- Assisting my sister-in-law and her spouse with financial struggles.
And that’s not including things like work, writing, exercise, meal planning, groceries, etc. that are just life.
As you can see, I’m very involved in my church. And I love it, mostly. But I realized that I just can’t do it all.
- Looking at the list I knew I couldn’t come off of the first two, which really only require showing up for meetings and doing what I’m told. Not much extra time required.
- The Youth Choir one I have a personal interest in because my kids are in it, and I want to ensure the drama portion is something the kids will enjoy (last year’s attempt was less not successful and it was pretty much just music with no story).
- Great Adventure Weekend will be done after this weekend, so I really can’t back out of that at the last minute.
- Helping at my kids’ performances is another of those that only requires attendance and not a lot of extra work.
- I’ve enlisted the help of others to chauffer the kids.
- When the associate pastor reached out to find out who was still able to serve, I told him I could not.
- Helping family feels non-negotiable. Regardless of how stressful it may be.
So, what did that leave? The Women’s Event. As we get closer to the event, we have more meetings to attend. I had volunteered to plan the small group sessions. Planning would take up a lot of time to read the book, write discussion questions, and develop activities to go with each session. Not only that, but I have plans to be out of town with my husband for 2 weeks not long before the event is scheduled.
I felt incredibly guilty doing it, but I backed out of planning the Women’s Event. I told them I’d still be attending and could be a day-of volunteer, but planning is not within my bandwidth at this time. The chair was incredibly understanding, as were the other members. It was a huge relief to get that off my plate.
I still feel as if I’m juggling too much, but I’m hopeful that after this weekend’s retreat has finished, I will feel more relief. As much as I really would rather not be committed to the choir, which meets every Sunday, I also think I’m the best option for ensuring the youth has ownership and is happy with the results. It’s also possible we won’t have enough people interested to have a Choir Tour after all. Last night there were only 5 students in attendance. So, we’ll see.
I’m trying. I know I’m still overloaded with responsibilities, but at least I recognized that I needed to cut something. And I cannot say yes to anything else at this time. I can reassess once the kids have their licenses, and I’m freed from being chauffer every day.
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