Have you ever heard people talk about introverts being “adopted” by extroverts? While it sounds somewhat condescending and judgmental, it’s kind of true.
Last week Squirrel and Monkey traveled with their theatre group to a theatre conference. Interestingly, in a room of five theatre kids, only one was an extravert. Seems odd, considering they are all kids that thrive onstage. But there is a huge difference between social battery and stage presence.
Given that there were other theatre groups staying in the same hotel, there was ample social opportunity at the end of the day. Which the extravert wanted to take full advantage of. The introverts (and one ambivert) preferred to stay in the room to recover from the busy conference schedule. But like many extroverts, they didn’t want to go alone. And that is when Squirrel was adopted by this extravert to flit around the hotel lobby and pool, getting to know all of the other groups in attendance. Had that extrovert not dragged Squirrel along, I can assure you there would have been four kids holed up in the room instead of three.
But if not for being dragged along, Squirrel would have missed out on making friends with kids from all over the state. While it doesn’t come naturally, Squirrel does enjoy getting to know new people. Sometimes an introvert needs to be pulled out from under the covers by an extrovert to experience new things.
When Squirrel told me this story, I realized that I was in a very similar situation.
At the beginning of this week, I attended the Horizon Texas United Methodist Annual Conference. I rode down with another member of my church. We were there as lay representatives. This was the first time either of us have attended. Thankfully, the other member offered to drive. I stuck with him the entire time. I trailed along behind him as he introduced himself to every person he met, even if they were not connected to the conference at all. We even sat and ate in a packed restaurant with a couple who knew nothing about the conference and by the time they left he knew where they were from, what church they attended, how many times they’d visited this particular restaurant, and so much more. I think I might have given them my name.
At the Lay service on Sunday the very enthusiastic co-chair introduced the activity she had planned and basically announced that “Extroverts, you’re going to love this. Introverts, do it anyway.” It was one of those dreaded activities that is intended to get people to meet each other and find things in common. There were nine squares with questions to ask, and each one needed to be completed by talking to a different person. Which I can admit might work for extroverts. Asking one question leads to a million other questions when you’re an extrovert. As an introvert, the goal is to get through the list as fast as possible with no extra information shared.
The activity lasted forever. I managed to not end up with a paper to fill out. (Gee, darn. They ran out. Or maybe I handed mine to someone else like a hot potato.) I stood off to the side of the room, watching others wander around and making conversation. A few people would see me alone and pounce, but I have a feeling they were mostly in the introvert category and recognized a fellow introvert that would not force them into lengthy conversation after quickly getting their answer and moving on. Some of them never even looked at my face, which was just fine with me. They guy I came with? Could tell you about several of the people he’d talked to and would greet them with enthusiasm when we’d pass by throughout the rest of the conference.
A conversation ensued at lunch the last day about extroverts adopting introverts. My pastor’s children are introverts, and she asked me how Squirrel survives summer camp as an introvert. Neither of her children enjoy going to camp, which is really not built for introverts at all. I explained that Squirrel finds times to pull away from the group to recharge and when they return at the end of the week, they barely leave their room for the next week, which is why they do not go on the Mission Trip immediately after.
While I know that Squirrel and I are completely capable of meeting new people and being social, sometimes it really does help to be adopted by an extrovert and dragged out from under our covers.
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